Stop Angry Arguments

Here are a few helpful self-management changes to stop angry arguments.

Remember, you can only change yourself. If you change yourself effectively, you will probably find that your spouse will change to adjust to the new you; but don’t expect to change your spouse.

Arguing Time and Time Limit

If one of you is extremely upset with the other, you might find it helpful to schedule an arguing time and set a time limit on your argument.

You will need to mutually agree beforehand that you will stop the discussion when the time runs out. This will help each of you to focus on the task at hand and set the stage for both of you that this is not going to be an endless barrage.

Of course, when you make these agreements, you have to stick to them or your word will lose credibility.

Real Listening

Another self-management skill that can help to stop angry arguments is listening to your partner.

You might think you already do this, and you might. However, the listening I mean is to give your spouse a turn to present his or her side of the story without interruption except for clarification.

Your job, then, is to demonstrate that you were truly listening by respectfully explaining back to your spouse what was said, even if you don’t agree. Try to find areas of agreement.

Stay Lighthearted

Without being disrespectful to the gravity of your spouse’s concerns, it is sometimes helpful to keep your part of the discussion lighthearted if you can. Even respectful humor can be helpful at times.

There is a fine line between what will be taken as mocking and what will be taken as humor, so be careful what you say.

Will you manage to eliminate angry arguing?

Some of you can read a suggestion and conceptualize the principal and put it into action. Others might have difficulty and you will need help in learning to manage your thinking and feeling. Learn more about getting marriage help.

I wish you all success in creating a great marriage,

 

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