Dealing with Jealousy and Cheating Accusations from a Spouse

Friday, December 21, 2012

Dear Dr. Gunzburg

I dont want to lose my husband!! Question: My husband seriously believes that I am out cheating on him while he is on the road when he thinks I should be home. I can't talk to anyone or go anywhere without him making something out of nothing!

He has gotten so hard to talk to and always yelling or putting me down, dumps me, or even just gets up and walks out because he has had enough. He did just that and the lies and accusations are crazy. I want my baby home! He is taking advice from others to stay away. HELP!

-Help Me Keep My Husband in Minnesota

Dear Help Me Keep My Husband,

First, you have to look at your own behavior. Are you doing anything suspicious or are you being defensive about your whereabouts or activities, or are you avoiding being reassuring? I have published free marriage tips on jealousy that may help.

If you are not doing any of the above, is he? Some people with his behavior are covering their own misbehaviors. I'm sure you've heard that a strong offense is the best defense.

Does he value you and the relationship you share? If so, maybe you would want to both take lie-detector tests to prove your innocence. In Maryland, a good lie-detector or polygraph test costs about $500 to $700.

If none of the above works for you, perhaps it's time for you to move on rather than let yourself continue to be berated by someone who no longer cares for you. Of course, there is information that neither of us can address in this brief question and answer format.

My best wishes to you during this difficult time and in making your decision what to do next,

If you want to work with me, I offer marriage counseling or marriage retreats in Maryland, to couples from all over the world. I am intentionally out-of-network for all insurance plans. My fees are based on $260 per hour, with a 45 minute session costing $195. I also have self-help programs available.

Tags: jealous spouse, insecurity, controlling spouse