A Jealous Spouse
Handling Jealousy That You Think Has No Cause
Are you dealing with a jealous spouse? With a jealous spouse there will be feelings of frustration and worry. Your marriage is bound to be in trouble.
I'm referring to a situation where your spouse is jealous even though you think you have not given any cause for jealousy. You are in a difficult position.
It might help you both to learn more about insecurity in your relationship to determine the type of jealousy.
Jealousy's Many Forms
Jealousy shows up in many forms. If you are at the receiving end of jealous fits of rage, you probably feel afraid, disrespected, and as if you have to walk on eggshells around your spouse.
You are one-half of a marriage and both halves have to be functioning with compassion, love, and respect in order to ensure success. Someone has to begin the process of healing. Some ideas for this are presented in Dealing with Jealousy in Marriage.
You can also start by looking at your own behavior, and determining if you are doing anything that may be over the top and could be causing your spouse to become jealous.
Look at Your Own Behavior
Maybe you are causing jealousy and not realizing it. I suggest you observe your own actions to help get your marriage back on track:
- Do you act flirtatious with the opposite sex?
- Do you dress seductively?
- Are you evasive in answering your spouse's questions?
- Do you answer a direct question with a question?
- Do you use improper body language around members of the opposite sex?
- Do you come home late without calling and then avoid explaining?
- Do you mingle with the opposite sex without your spouse present?
- Do you hide your cell phone?
- Do you take phone calls in private?
- Are you more attentive to others than your own spouse?
If you have any of these behaviors you can learn to strengthen the fence around your marriage. You can also determine if you have a controlling spouse or are you provoking jealousy.
Jealous Spouses Are in Emotional Pain
Jealousy is pain that your spouse doesn't want. Your spouse probably recognizes jealousy as a destructive emotion. You can help:
- You can understand your spouse's pain and express your understanding.
- You can look honestly at your own behavior to see if you are causing jealousy.
- Help your spouse open up lines of communication and openly share feelings.
- Learn to use active listening.
Using the above tips can help you on the path to healing jealousy, or see below for further resources.
I wish you all success in creating a wonderful marriage together,
Getting Additional Marriage Help
These ideas are difficult to implement. It may not even be possible for you right now. If you have difficulty putting my advice into action, I offer both marriage counseling and marriage retreats to help you and your spouse move past jealousy and other marital issues.
If you prefer to help yourself, or are unable to attend counseling with me at this time, I have step-by-step instructions for understanding your spouse's pain and opening up communication, as well as what to do next. You can find these instructions in my self-help marriage programs such as Saving Your Marriage and Survive an Affair.